I looked at her, sitting there on the park bench. Her kids were well behaved, using their kind words, and she was engaged, oohing and ahhing over every stick or leaf they brought her. With her foot, she rocked her baby stroller back and forth. She had what looked like a homemade protein shake with her, and was wearing workout clothes, clearly having walked here, but looked completely put together with a full face of makeup.

Then I thought about how I must have looked… the yoga pants I had on yesterday, a bottle of juice from the fridge, messy bun, no makeup, checking my phone once in awhile as my son ran from slide to swing and back again. I was engaged for the first 5 or 6 really awesome leafs he brought me, and after that, resorted to nodding and saying “Oh, that’s nice, Ketchup! I love it…”

I kept looking, thinking “look at this super mom. I bet her house is always spotless, I bet she has three balanced homecooked meals a day for her family, breakfast lunch and dinner as multi-course meals with nothing but the freshest ingredients she probably bought at the farmer’s market herself at 5am on a Saturday, because she probably never sleeps in or feels lazy.”

And you know what? I was most likely wrong. And even if I was right about every single bit of that, she was probably comparing herself to someone else…

It seemed like every friend I talked to had a way in which they were comparing themselves to someone else. I had a friend who had it all together. I swear this mom was on top of everything! She was rocking her business, her family life, and her household. I was envious– she seemed to have it all together, when I was feeling so scattered. And then I found out she was envious of me… she told me that she thought I had so much fun with Ketchup, and she was jealous that I got to work from home and see him all the time, that I was so hands-on as a parent.

When we compare ourselves to others, we’re always going to find a way in which we don’t measure up. I found myself comparing myself to others who seemed to have more money, or more time, or more vacations. I found myself comparing myself to others who had a better degree, or a nicer house, or more time for the hobbies they loved.

And you know what? Those same people that I found myself so jealous of were still comparing themselves to others, looking for things they didn’t have.

By consistently comparing what I didn’t have or what I wasn’t or what I didn’t do to what others had, were, or did, I was taking a little bit of joy away from my life.

When I compared myself to other bloggers who had more views or better partnerships, I was taking time away from my opportunity to share my blog in a new place or reach out to brands I loved. When I compared myself as a parent to those who did more fun things with their kids or had better disciplined kids, I was robbing myself of the chance to celebrate the ways in which I was an amazing parent, and robbing myself of the chance to spend the time I was spending feeling inadequate, doing something fun with my son instead.

I tried flipping the script. Instead of sitting there worrying about the ways in which I wasn’t good enough, I tried to remind myself the ways in which I was great. I may not have all the money in the world, but I never had a night where my family was going hungry and I rarely had to say no to something Ketchup really, really wanted.

I may not have the most blog views ever, or a book deal like so many of my other blogger friends, but I was writing about things I loved, and I was making enough blogging that I could work from home and spend extra time with my kiddo, and that was something major.

I may not have time for all of the hobbies I wanted to pursue, but I got to spend my days doing the things I loved most– crafts with Ketchup, cooking, and writing– as a job. And that’s something not many people can say, that they spend their work days doing things they loved passionately.

For every way that I was comparing myself negatively to others, thinking of what I didn’t have, I started to find ways to see what I did have. Doing that made me realize how much more joyful life could be– I could be sitting there pondering how much more “together” that mom was at the park, or I could be thanking God that I was able to have the flexibility in my work schedule to take him to the park. I could be thankful that he and I had a relationship to where he wanted to show me those really awesome things he found, and I could be thankful that he had the opportunity to run off extra energy.

When I stopped counting the ways in which I felt inadequate, and started counting the ways in which I was seriously rocking it, my life got a lot better.

Sure, I still compare myself to others at times, but you know what? The more I focus on what I’m doing an amazing job at, and the less I worry about what everyone else is up to, the better my life becomes.