To the dads of the kids on my son’s baseball team:
As the season winds down to a close, I realize there are some important things I didn’t know how to say to you in person. I just want to take a few minutes to say thank you.
parenting
5 Ways to Show Love to Your Kids (Without Just Saying “I Love You”)
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As parents, most of us tell our kids “I love you” on a pretty regular basis. At night, Zach and I have an “I love you” “I love you more” “I love you most” back and forth before he falls asleep. It’s just part of life that many of us are great at telling our kids we love them. But are we showing them that we love them? Based on the principles of Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, I’ve come up with a list of ways that you can show your child love. You won’t want to miss these!
Why Moms are Basically Superheroes
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My son has gotten really into superheroes lately. Every time I ask what he wants to watch before bed, it’s always, always superheroes. And the other night when I was watching, I realized with all of the quick changes, invisibility, and super speed, Super Powers really aren’t that far removed from what being a mom is like. Moms, we’re basically superheroes, and I’m pretty sure our families don’t know our secret identity, but if you aren’t convinced, here are a few ways that moms are pretty much superheroes…
Writing Letters to Your Children, Part One: Why You Should Do It
As parents, it’s so essential to us to impart as much wisdom as possible into our children’s lives while we have them. It seems like, as kids grow so fast, in a blink it’s gone, and they’ve grown up. It means there’s only a short amount of time that we can give them the wisdom we’ve learned through the years (and hoping desperately that they follow our advice, despite knowing that all of us have to make some mistakes ourselves in order to learn). Writing letters to your children is the perfect way to share that wisdom with them for years to come, even after they leave the nest.
The Perks of Being a Stay At Home Mom
Disclaimer: this post isn’t meant to bash anyone, or say that being a stay at home mom is more important than being a mom who works outside the home– not in the slightest. But lately, I’ve heard a lot of questions raised about the value of stay at home moms and whether they’re really as significant as moms who work outside of the home, and I wanted to share my perspective of why working from home has changed my life so significantly. Again– not trying to bash, just trying to share my side of the story!
I’ve had a lot of people ask me “Yeah, but do you feel unfulfilled working from home instead of having like… a job?” “Don’t you just need a break from your kid sometimes?” “Ugh, I could NEVER work from home… my kids drive me crazy!” But after working from home, I realized there are a lot of perks of being a stay at home mom or work at home mom. I have a lot of opportunities that other moms don’t have, and for that, I feel really lucky.
An Open Letter To My Son: I Will Protect You
This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #LoveAndProtect #CollectiveBias
Zach, do you remember that time you climbed that tree? I knew you were climbing too high, I just knew that you’d fall, but you urged me to let you, begged me to let go of your hand so you could reach the next branch. And you know what happened? You made it. You reached it. You didn’t fall. I let go, and you stayed safe. It’s in my nature to be a little bit overbearing at times. I’ll always have worries– am I raising you the right way? Are you growing the way you should? How much life insurance should I have in case something happens to me? What sort of things do you need to know before you prepare for kindergarten?
I want to tell you right now that I don’t have all of the answers, but I do want to make you some promises.
Life Lessons I’ve Learned from Parenting a 3 Year Old
My sweet son turned 3 on Saturday. It’s been one heck of a ride, this past 3 years. A lot has changed, he’s grown, he’s developed such a silly personality, but a lot has stayed the same.
In the era of the Pinterest Supermoms, where every small celebration from a first tooth being lost to the first flush on the big boy potty becomes a celebration worthy of a giant theme party complete with theme food and drinks and decorations and more, I knew that his third birthday would be a big deal. I even tentatively put a post on my long-term blog idea list to tell you all about the thrilling birthday and exactly how to copy it, complete with drool-worthy photos you’d be anxious to share on Pinterest.
And then my 3 year old hit me with a doozy.
I Had to Let Him Do It Alone: When Letting Go of Your Toddler is Downright Scary
My son has always been naturally skiddish. Or… so I thought. It took us months for him to have the confidence to go down the spiral slide at the park near us, and once he did, it seemed like it took ages before he was ready to do it again. He wasn’t a fan of anything high up, and he certainly didn’t like anything spinning. I tried to be right there, putting a guiding hand on him and holding his hand whenever he felt a little bit nervous. If he went to high, I’d give him a gentle reminder, saying “Be Careful!” to the point that anytime he’d get someplace even remotely high off the ground, he’d look at me and say “Be careful!” to make sure I knew he was doing something dangerous and I should be there watching. And by dangerous, I meant sliding down the slide barely 2 lengths of his body in our basement… not a scary drop at all.
I thought that maybe it was okay for him to stay close to the ground, that maybe it’d keep him safe. After my brother broke his collarbone last winter, I knew that it was practically best to wrap my son in bubblewrap to prevent similar injuries. So, time and time again, I stayed right there keeping careful watch on every slide, climbing apparatus, and swingset. I was being a good mom, right? Keeping watch over my son is a good thing.
Until one day, Zach helped me realize maybe I wasn’t doing things right after all.
Things I’ve Learned From Motherhood
With mother’s day rapidly approaching, I’m realizing that this is my THIRD mother’s day as a mother… wow. I can’t believe that my son is rapidly approaching 3 years old, and I can’t believe that I’ve been a mom for this long. It seems equally longer and shorter than I realized, and I still can’t believe how much Zach has grown in that amount of time… and furthermore, how much I have grown! In the past few years, I’ve learned a LOT about motherhood, some things I expected, and some things I didn’t. Here are a few things I’ve learned…
1. I will end up saying phrases I never expected to say, like “Zach, don’t sniff the dog’s butt.”
2. Kids pretty much have their own way of doing things, which means sometimes boots go on BEFORE pants do. Just because it isn’t how I would do it, doesn’t make it a wrong method.
3. Forget anything you know about being tidy. Even a neat person eventually has to come to terms with the fact that after the 5th time you’ve picked up that toy in the middle of the kitchen floor that day, sometimes it’s best to just let things stay until it’s bedtime.
4. Baths aren’t just for getting clean. Baths are for splashing, for playing, for blowing bubbles, and for singing. Baths are so much more than just a clean habit.
5. It’s pretty much a crime to leave a puddle un-jumped, a nail unpainted, or a park un-explored.
6. The best things in life are simple and unexpected… like a quick lick on the cheek and a loud bark to wake you up in the morning… (nope, not talking about the dog. Talking about my sweet baby boy).
7. Time together is more important than anything else. Some of the best time that Zach and I have spent together was on mommy-son date nights where we share pizza and enjoy a movie together. It’s just a nice time to get out of the house and break up the monotony of the every day.
8. Kids observe everything. Sometimes it’s a very cool thing, like when Zach mimics the whole process of baking and serving food to someone during his imaginary play. Sometimes, it’s not a good thing, like when your son tells the dog “Ugh, shut up, Echo!” because he’s scratching at the door… again.
9. Good luck getting your kid to eat green beans. All of that malarky about a kid needing to try a food 40 times before learning to like it is silly. Either sneak those greens in where you can, or resign yourself to the fact that if they spit it out the first 15 times, they’re probably not a fan or will decide they are a fan on their own agenda, not yours.
10. Speaking of, kids kind of do things on their own agenda anyway. You can push them towards a certain goal, but if they’re not ready, they’re not ready. It’ll happen in it’s own time.
11. Oh, and after about the 3rd shared drink, you just come to the conclusion that backwash is really just adding flavor to the drink, right?
12. It’s really REALLY hard to keep things “out of reach of children.” Eventually those little suckers learn to climb. Or at least get big enough to carry a step stool around the house, and then you’re pretty much doomed. Child locks are a life-saver (until your child starts to figure out how to open them… remember, observation).
13. Never make your Amazon In-App purchasing PIN the same as your Debit PIN. Despite the obvious security risks that are present anyway, if you let your child help you key your PIN at the store, they will eventually figure out it’s the same and attempt to buy the big $1,000 package of App Coins and a Big Screen TV. Definitely always keep PINs separate. Oh, and change your parental controls PIN often, because all it takes is one time of him seeing over your shoulder without you realizing it for random charges to start showing up on your bank statement. Because, yes, observation.
14. Eventually, you’ll find yourself cheering every time someone goes potty. You think you’ll be able to contain it just to your child’s bathroom successes, but no. No, you won’t. Because I promise there will be a time when you’ll be at a restaurant positioned near the restrooms, your child will see someone come out of the restroom, and go “WooHOO! He pooped! Mommy, clap!” and you’ll do it like it’s second nature before realizing what you’ve done.
15. Being a mom can be incredibly overwhelming at times, and, even as a non-drinker, sometimes you get to the evening hours and thing, “Ugh. I need a stiff drink just to get through the last of the day!”
16. But then you realize how every single moment, even the ones where your child is standing naked on top of the piano saying “I’m gonna jump!!!” are worth every precious bit, because each smile, each kiss, each “Love you!” and each sleepy hug make up for even the most crazy moments.
What have you learned from motherhood? If you’re not a mom, what are some ways you taught your mom about motherhood? Let me know in the comments below!
Traveling With Kids: Spring Break Travel Tips that will Save Your Sanity!
Traveling with kids can be absolutely insane sometimes. A chorus of “Stop touching your sister!” and “Are We There Yet?!” ring out through the car, and eventually, everyone realizes something HAS to give. Whether you’re going by plane, train, or automobile, it helps to have some great ideas to make travel easier!
When I start planning a road trip, or any trip, I consider the old wedding adage and start with…
Something old. A few weeks before a big trip, by plane or car, I make sure to set aside a toy that is oft-played with, a favorite, and hide it someplace safe until the trip. I’ve noticed that kids play with other toys in the meantime, and that specific toy is out of mind for awhile. When things start to get restless on the trip, it’s time to pull out this hidden toy and surprise your child with it. They’ll be so excited to see this old-toy-turned-new that it’ll settle things down for awhile as they enjoy this old favorite again. Plus, it costs you nothing to hide a toy for a few weeks until vacation!
Something new comes next– new things are always an exciting treat! Before a trip, I create a fun trip gift! I buy a small toy (seasonal gift or dollar sections at Target or Walmart are a great resource for finding something small!), a new book, and a small snack and drink, then package it in a gift back. It’s a great way to surprise kids at the start of a trip, with a personal bag just for them filled with an exciting new treat!
Shopping together is a great way to involve everyone in the trip planning. Whether it’s a new bathing suit for the trip, or healthy snacks to enjoy along the ride, it’s important to include your child in the planning and talk about what the trip will be like, including step-by-step discussions of the drive. One thing I love to do in particular is to bring Zach along to pick out great snacks at the grocery store, emphasizing healthy choices, a few days before the trip. Together, we can grab baby carrots and travel-size containers of dip, apples and grapes, and sandwich items, plus his favorite crackers and cookies, to make sure we have some great snacks for the drive and our arrival. It’s a great way to talk about the upcoming trip and get him involved in the planning for what’s going on next.
Play games on the drive! Our family favorite is the “I’m looking for” game, and it gets played on trips short and long. A twist on the classic “I spy,” this is a little easier for younger kids. One player starts, saying something like “I’m looking for a pickup truck!” If someone finds the object, they’re it and get to pick the next one. If a bit of time goes by and no one finds it, the person chooses a second object– “I’m looking for a pick up truck OR a Christmas tree.” For younger players, you can be very general– “A car,” or “A bird” work well. For older kids, you can get more specific “A red pickup truck with a dog in it.” Because this game is easy to tailor to different ages to make it more or less challenging, it’s fun the whole family can play. We’ve gotten really crazy with ours, also– including “A cloud that kind of looks like an elephant,” “A dead raccoon,” and “A blue car with jet skis.”
Plan the route together. You can hang a string through the car with the various points you’ll pass through– major landmarks, special cities, and more– and remove the points as you pass through them. It’s a great visual to show kids that you’re getting through certain points on the road, and to show them that you’re getting closer and closer.
Pick a fun stop along the way. If you’re going by road, it’s a great choice to look at options for stretching your legs. Find a children’s museum, a fun playground, or an exciting restaurant to stop at along the way, particularly about halfway through the trip. It’ll be a great way to get off the road for a few minutes and just enjoy a few minutes. If going by car, even an impromptu choice can be a good one. We had stopped for lunch and had everyone get out to stretch their legs, and found this fantastic coin machine. The goal was to land your quarter exactly right to hopefully push other quarters off! We set a budget of a dollar, and Jeffrey won $2, but then lost them all. Even though he walked away with a dollar loss, it was a fun way to stretch our legs, and we had the whole family and half of Subway cheering him on!
Magnet games are a great way to play with no mess. You can easily find board game boards by doing a Google Image search, or design your own in a program like Paint.Net or Photoshop. Once designed, print the game board and pieces on magnetic paper. Then, pack a small cookie sheet or metal board and allow for hours of magnetic play. No pieces will get lost! You can even create paper dolls or a mini dollhouse in metal mint containers or other small metal containers, allowing for play with no missing pieces and no mess in the car.
A family playlist is a diplomatic way to make sure everyone’s favorites get heard. Before the trip, have every member of the family write down (or dictate) 5-10 of their favorite songs. Track them down and make a mixtape or playlist of the songs on shuffle. During the trip, play the songs and guess who added the songs to the list. With some families who have varied tastes, this game will be incredibly easy, but for families with similar interests, it’ll be challenging! Either way, there will be great tunes, and since everyone picks some songs, there will be no arguments about “How come we only listen to THEIR music?!”
Don’t be afraid to use technology. It’s okay to give your kid a little bit of tech time on a very long trip. It can be sanity saving to pull out an electronic device before you pull out your hair. Before the trip, load up the Kindle, iPad, or other device with some educational games and books, then save it for the last stand– that stretch where NOTHING else is working. Another good option is a brand new DVD. Both Walmart and Target sell a selection for under $5.
When all else fails, follow the rules. Have a tally sheet, and any time someone violates one of the rules of the road (like asking “Are we there yet?!” or pestering a sibling), they get a tally. The person with the fewest tallies gets to pick the next rest stop, or choose an activity while on the trip, or even get a special small treat when you arrive at your destination. Everyone will be working hard to follow the rules and win the Best Traveler Award!
Have any tried-and-true travel tips to keep kids entertained on a long trip? Share them in the comments below!