The Power and Insanity of a Multi-Tasking Mom (Plus, Orange Dream Cooler Recipe)

July 31, 2015January 13, 2017 - Mama 1 Comment

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #WaterOnlyBetter #CollectiveBias

What is it with moms and multitasking? It seems like we can never get a spare minute to ourselves anymore! Do you find yourself doing your face mask while you clean the bathroom? You might be suffering from not enough mom time... so read this, and relate. #WaterOnlyBetter #ad

It started after Zach was born. I had never really noticed it before, but when he was born, it really did start. Late nights spent breastfeeding meant late nights where I’d just be… awake. So, I did something I swore I would never do. I got hooked on reality TV. See, my mind wasn’t awake enough for reading, and it really couldn’t handle TV with actual plot, either, so there I’d be, lying there awake after Zach had drifted off to sleep, realizing I needed to be doing…. well, something. Anything. if I wasn’t sleeping.

Why Moms are Basically Superheroes

May 27, 2015 - Mama 2 Comments

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #V8EnergyBoost #CollectiveBias

Come on, moms, we do it all-- quick changes after baby spit up, mind control through redirection techniques, and the power of sonic hearing! Moms are essentially superheroes, with a whole list of incredible superpowers! What's your super power? #V8EnergyBoost #Ad

My son has gotten really into superheroes lately. Every time I ask what he wants to watch before bed, it’s always, always superheroes. And the other night when I was watching, I realized with all of the quick changes, invisibility, and super speed, Super Powers really aren’t that far removed from what being a mom is like. Moms, we’re basically superheroes, and I’m pretty sure our families don’t know our secret identity, but if you aren’t convinced, here are a few ways that moms are pretty much superheroes…

The Perks of Being a Stay At Home Mom

March 16, 2015March 16, 2015 - Mama Leave a comment

Disclaimer: this post isn’t meant to bash anyone, or say that being a stay at home mom is more important than being a mom who works outside the home– not in the slightest. But lately, I’ve heard a lot of questions raised about the value of stay at home moms and whether they’re really as significant as moms who work outside of the home, and I wanted to share my perspective of why working from home has changed my life so significantly. Again– not trying to bash, just trying to share my side of the story!

I’ve had a lot of people ask me “Yeah, but do you feel unfulfilled working from home instead of having like… a job?” “Don’t you just need a break from your kid sometimes?” “Ugh, I could NEVER work from home… my kids drive me crazy!” But after working from home, I realized there are a lot of perks of being a stay at home mom or work at home mom. I have a lot of opportunities that other moms don’t have, and for that, I feel really lucky.

An Open Letter To My Son: I Will Protect You

February 9, 2015February 10, 2015 - Mama 3 Comments

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #LoveAndProtect #CollectiveBias

Zach, do you remember that time you climbed that tree? I knew you were climbing too high, I just knew that you’d fall, but you urged me to let you, begged me to let go of your hand so you could reach the next branch. And you know what happened? You made it. You reached it. You didn’t fall. I let go, and you stayed safe. It’s in my nature to be a little bit overbearing at times. I’ll always have worries– am I raising you the right way? Are you growing the way you should? How much life insurance should I have in case something happens to me? What sort of things do you need to know before you prepare for kindergarten?

I want to tell you right now that I don’t have all of the answers, but I do want to make you some promises.

Things I’ve Learned From Motherhood

May 8, 2014 - Mama Leave a comment

With mother’s day rapidly approaching, I’m realizing that this is my THIRD mother’s day as a mother… wow. I can’t believe that my son is rapidly approaching 3 years old, and I can’t believe that I’ve been a mom for this long. It seems equally longer and shorter than I realized, and I still can’t believe how much Zach has grown in that amount of time… and furthermore, how much I have grown! In the past few years, I’ve learned a LOT about motherhood, some things I expected, and some things I didn’t. Here are a few things I’ve learned…

1. I will end up saying phrases I never expected to say, like “Zach, don’t sniff the dog’s butt.”
2. Kids pretty much have their own way of doing things, which means sometimes boots go on BEFORE pants do. Just because it isn’t how I would do it, doesn’t make it a wrong method.
3. Forget anything you know about being tidy. Even a neat person eventually has to come to terms with the fact that after the 5th time you’ve picked up that toy in the middle of the kitchen floor that day, sometimes it’s best to just let things stay until it’s bedtime.
4. Baths aren’t just for getting clean. Baths are for splashing, for playing, for blowing bubbles, and for singing. Baths are so much more than just a clean habit.
5. It’s pretty much a crime to leave a puddle un-jumped, a nail unpainted, or a park un-explored.
6. The best things in life are simple and unexpected… like a quick lick on the cheek and a loud bark to wake you up in the morning… (nope, not talking about the dog. Talking about my sweet baby boy).
7. Time together is more important than anything else. Some of the best time that Zach and I have spent together was on mommy-son date nights where we share pizza and enjoy a movie together. It’s just a nice time to get out of the house and break up the monotony of the every day.
8. Kids observe everything. Sometimes it’s a very cool thing, like when Zach mimics the whole process of baking and serving food to someone during his imaginary play. Sometimes, it’s not a good thing, like when your son tells the dog “Ugh, shut up, Echo!” because he’s scratching at the door… again.
9. Good luck getting your kid to eat green beans. All of that malarky about a kid needing to try a food 40 times before learning to like it is silly. Either sneak those greens in where you can, or resign yourself to the fact that if they spit it out the first 15 times, they’re probably not a fan or will decide they are a fan on their own agenda, not yours.
10. Speaking of, kids kind of do things on their own agenda anyway. You can push them towards a certain goal, but if they’re not ready, they’re not ready. It’ll happen in it’s own time.
11. Oh, and after about the 3rd shared drink, you just come to the conclusion that backwash is really just adding flavor to the drink, right?
12. It’s really REALLY hard to keep things “out of reach of children.” Eventually those little suckers learn to climb. Or at least get big enough to carry a step stool around the house, and then you’re pretty much doomed. Child locks are a life-saver (until your child starts to figure out how to open them… remember, observation).
13. Never make your Amazon In-App purchasing PIN the same as your Debit PIN. Despite the obvious security risks that are present anyway, if you let your child help you key your PIN at the store, they will eventually figure out it’s the same and attempt to buy the big $1,000 package of App Coins and a Big Screen TV. Definitely always keep PINs separate. Oh, and change your parental controls PIN often, because all it takes is one time of him seeing over your shoulder without you realizing it for random charges to start showing up on your bank statement. Because, yes, observation.
14. Eventually, you’ll find yourself cheering every time someone goes potty. You think you’ll be able to contain it just to your child’s bathroom successes, but no. No, you won’t. Because I promise there will be a time when you’ll be at a restaurant positioned near the restrooms, your child will see someone come out of the restroom, and go “WooHOO! He pooped! Mommy, clap!” and you’ll do it like it’s second nature before realizing what you’ve done.
15. Being a mom can be incredibly overwhelming at times, and, even as a non-drinker, sometimes you get to the evening hours and thing, “Ugh. I need a stiff drink just to get through the last of the day!”
16. But then you realize how every single moment, even the ones where your child is standing naked on top of the piano saying “I’m gonna jump!!!” are worth every precious bit, because each smile, each kiss, each “Love you!” and each sleepy hug make up for even the most crazy moments.

What have you learned from motherhood? If you’re not a mom, what are some ways you taught your mom about motherhood? Let me know in the comments below!

Snot Noses and Big Boy Beds

September 8, 2012 - Mama 2 Comments

Zach and I are having a ridiculously lazy day today. Both of us have snot… literally everywhere. It’s so gross. I opted not to take a picture to spare you the gorey details.

We’ve spent half of the day in bed, just lazing, napping, and doing nothing. It’s so refreshing to just take a day off, but it stinks that we’re having to do this because of an illness. You can tell Zachy is completely miserable, but because it’s just a runny nose, congestion, etc thing, there’s not really anything that can be done aside from pumping the (Dr. Approved) Benadryl and Ibuprofen. And Dayquil for me (The doctor okayed that, too, since I’ve got a breastfeeder on my hands).

But here’s the deal. The Benadryl thing just was not cutting it for Zach. The doctor had prescribed it last spring, when Zach was a lot smaller than he is now, so I was giving him the dosage the doctor recommended at the weight he was ages ago. It was not working. And then my doctor turned me on to a really amazing tool. Have you heard of Dr. Sears? For me, he’s a total attachment parenting guru, and I almost totally hang on every word he says. I love his thoughts on a lot of things, and I like his fairly organic approach to things.

Anyway, this tool on Dr. Sears’ website is more clear on weight dosing than a package from the store… it is intended to allow you to give “strong but safe” doses, and closes the weight/dose window from a 15 or so pound span to only about 3-5 pounds. It makes the dosing far more accurate, and makes it so your child can beat his illness faster. You can check it out at Dr. Sears’ website, by typing the medication you need information on into the search bar.

Dr. Sears’ website is also a source of a ton of other great information, from how to cure diaper rash to breastfeeding help, if you need it.

On a totally unrelated topic, Zach’s room got a little bit of a makeover recently. I mentioned back in March about how we added awesome rain gutter bookshelves, along with doing a small furniture re-arrangement. This time around, we took out the changing table, since Zach was getting too long to use it comfortably anymore, and a little too wild and wiggly. We also added in a toy box to make his stuff more accessible. It was recycled from his uncle Jeffrey, who is becoming a teenager and no longer needs a toy box.

But the most exciting part, in my opinion, and crazy part, was that we decided to remove the front of Zach’s crib and turn it into it’s toddler bed stage. When buying a crib, I decided to pay extra for one that was convertible, because I loved the idea that the bed would grow with him. Zach pretty much went from a bassinet to co-sleeping, so his crib hasn’t gotten much use as a crib at all. Plus, now that Zach is old enough and tall enough to climb out of a crib, it’s best, and safest, for us to remove that front end anyway. His bed is now a lovely toddler day-bed, which he is loving using as a couch! He crawls up there with a good book or a stuffed animal and reads for large chunks of time.

I love that his room is more functional for his age now, and allows him to actually have space to play and read, and it’s a lot more comfortable for me to sit back here in my awesome leather recliner and get some work done while he’s entertaining himself. I love knowing that he can entertain himself for some periods of time between us playing together, but I also love having the space to be close enough that if he needs me, I’m here.

I just can’t believe he’s growing up so much that he needs a toddler-sized bed! It’s amazing (and scary) to see how fast he is growing.

Luckily, or perhaps not as luckily, we still have sicky-poo days like this where he is still sweet and cuddly. Otherwise, I don’t think he’d sit still long enough for a hug or five.

At what age did you switch your child from a crib to a more “big boy/girl” bed? Let me know in the comments below!

Slightly Crunchy: In Defense of the Halfway Hippie

March 10, 2012October 3, 2014 - Mama 3 Comments

I read a great article about Mayim Bialik (Blossom for you old-school folks, or the girl who played young Bette Midler in Beaches, or the girl who plays Sheldon’s girlfriend on The Big Bang Theory) the other day. It talked about how she is a strong advocate for Attachment Parenting (AP). She believes in extended nursing (her oldest is 3 1/2), she co-sleeps, she does elimination communication (meaning her children learn how to use a toilet before they learn to walk or talk, also known as diaper-less parenting). She wears her baby, unschools, and more. Her children are raised vegan and kosher. She’s an amazing woman doing a lot of amazing things with her children.

As a parent, I’ve chosen to do a lot of seemingly “crunchy” or “hippie” things myself. I made all of Zach’s baby food myself. We co-sleep. I homeschool. I’ve done some babywearing (though I don’t wear him all the time like many AP moms). I try to keep his goods organic when I can.

But the thing is, I get mistaken for a full-crunch Mayim Bialik mom all the time. And, as much as I admire her parenting style in many ways, I’m not her.

I’ve had several people hear that I homeschool and make Zach’s baby food, only for them to ask me my advice and suggestions on cloth diapering. Oh honey child, I do not cloth diaper. I think it’s great that so many moms do, but I don’t. We are disposables all the way!

I feel like too many times people hear that a mom is doing one or two things that are associated with the attachment parenting or organic/crunchy lifestyle, and assume that she is an all-or-nothing hippie mom. I’ve found that, more often than not, this isn’t the case. I’ve heard of a lot of cloth diapering organic moms that don’t raise vegan babies. I’ve heard of many moms that co-sleep and baby-wear, but feed their children Gerber and Beech Nut. I’ve seen moms who do extended nursing and baby-led weaning, but don’t co-sleep or cloth diaper. I feel like there is so much pressure as a mom, if you choose to do a few attachment parenting behaviors or granola mom behaviors, to do it all. I was having a conversation with some ladies the other day about diapers. One of them said “Oh my gosh. My friend’s baby had the WORST blowout when we were out to lunch. You know, if she was smart, she would make the switch to cloth diapers. I’ve never seen a blowout on a cloth baby.” I immediately blushed and felt ashamed that I had the audacity to put my child in a disposable diaper. Then, I started to feel ashamed that I felt ashamed of a parenting choice I had made! Who cares if the other women around me have made that choice for their children, one that fits into their lifestyle but not into mine? That’s great, but it’s not me.

I realized that, so many times, I felt ashamed about little things I did. I made all of Zach’s purees and many of his snacks like sweet potato fries, but sometimes I’d be lazy and give him a rice cake or a handful of SuperPuffs instead, which aren’t homemade. I feared that people would see me as a hypocrite if I went halfway.

I felt ashamed that sometimes I made choices that were right for my family. When some friends found out that I chose to co-sleep, I started getting bombarded with articles about how dangerous it is, and photos of babies sleeping with butcher knives. It took me a long time to stop feeling guilt about the fact that co-sleeping was the best choice for my family, and to realize that we co-sleep in an incredibly safe manner (and most co-sleeping deaths come from families who are uneducated about the safest co-sleeping practices).

I realized that I had spent a great deal of time feeling guilt about my parenting decisions rather than just enjoying my life as a parent. And then I realized that my words sometimes to other parents may have been causing them to feel guilt about their choices, whether or not it was intentional.

The truth is, not all of us who embrace an AP lifestyle are going to be a Mayim Bialik. There are going to be those of us who slip through the cracks, who embrace a half-hippie lifestyle. Maybe you’re a cloth diapering homemade baby food mom who balks at the idea of co-sleeping and babywearing. Maybe you chose not to breastfeed but you still love to co-sleep and wear your baby. All of us have to find what works for us as parents. It’s not going to look the same for everyone, and none of us should have to feel like we’re being put into some sort of box for it.

So this is it. I’m embracing the half-hippie lifestyle. I’m proud to be only slightly crunchy, to be organic when I can and embrace the times when I can’t be that person, too. My son’s going to eat meat sometimes. He’s going to wear disposable diapers and he’s going to get store-bought snacks occasionally. But he’s also going to choose when he stops breastfeeding, he’s going to eat a lot of homemade foods, and he’s going to co-sleep with me for quite awhile longer.

Do what’s right for you and your kids. Don’t feel ashamed about it, like you aren’t eco enough or aren’t traditional enough… there will always be advice coming from all sides, and always be some form of judgement on all sides… but you have to make the decisions that are best for you, best for your child and your home and your lifestyle and your family.

When you’re doing what you truly feel is best for your child, I’ve found that the guilt and shame often tends to melt away.

Mama Plus One

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