Oktoberfest-inspired Stickbread and Kielbasa with Rice

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #OktoberOnTheFarm #CollectiveBias

Looking for two easy Oktoberfest recipes? Try this traditional German Stickbread (often served near Easter) and a delicious Kielbasa Rice dish with only THREE ingredients! Rustic, easy, and delicious. #OktoberOnTheFarm #ad

Oktoberfest is upon us, and that means good food with family, enjoyed as the crisp fall temperatures stay just warm enough to enjoy a meal around the fire pit in a sweater… Oktoberfest is largely overlooked as a great “food holiday”– we all know Thanksgiving and Christmas come with great food, but so does Oktoberfest, and today, I’ve got an easy 3-ingredient Kielbasa Rice dish, plus a traditional German stickbread, to share with you.

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5 Ways to Show Love to Your Kids (Without Just Saying “I Love You”)

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As parents, many of us tell our kids "I love you," quite a lot. But how can we show our kids that we love them? Here are five ways-- I guarantee at least one of these ways will help your child feel loved and respected! Do you want to show your child love? Don't miss this list!

As parents, most of us tell our kids “I love you” on a pretty regular basis. At night, Zach and I have an “I love you” “I love you more” “I love you most” back and forth before he falls asleep. It’s just part of life that many of us are great at telling our kids we love them. But are we showing them that we love them? Based on the principles of Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, I’ve come up with a list of ways that you can show your child love. You won’t want to miss these!

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Strawberry Banana Dessert Egg Rolls

Want to use up extra strawberries? Just love a chocolate banana treat for dessert? This dessert twist on your favorite Chinese Takeout treat will definitely hit the spot! Strawberry Banana Dessert Egg rolls have just a hint of chocolate that make them perfect for dessert time!

In college, my friend Drew and I used to do this fun thing where we’d travel to a local town and spend the day exploring. We’d start off with appetizers at one restaurant, continue with lunch at another, and finish with dessert at yet another, strolling through antique stores, record shops, bookstores, and little foreign marketplaces. One restaurant had a dessert that definitely always hit the spot– a small Asian place that served banana egg rolls. They’d wrap bits of banana in fried pastry with nuts, and they’d drizzle caramel on top, serving it with ice cream. It was so mouthwatering! But honestly? I thought it was missing one thing… fresh strawberries!

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Cranberry Pecan Tea Cake Bars featuring Bigelow Tea and Truvia Natural Sweetener

Disclosure: This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #SweetWarmUp #CollectiveBias

Looking for the best treat to pair with Bigelow tea? Try this tea cake, which is easy to make, sweetened with no-calorie Truvia natural sweetener, and doesn't taste "diet" at all. It's delicious and filled with flavor-- perfect for breakfast or afternoon tea time. #SweetWarmUp #ad

 

It’s no secret that I’m quite the coffee addict. And with coffee comes a very strong-handed pour of flavored creamer, which, you know, has all kinds of sugar… and calories… and other fun stuff that is far from healthy OR natural. As I’ve worked really hard to lose some of the weight I put on over the past couple of years, I realized I had to make some changes. That meant cutting back on coffee (it’s just too hard to drink it without the flavored creamer) and cutting back on my sugar intake, too. That’s where Bigelow Tea and Truvia zero-calorie natural sweetener come in. And what’s tea time without a delicious, low-sugar treat? That’s where this delicious cranberry pecan tea cake come in! Made with Bigelow Tea and Truvia natural sweetener, you’ll not even believe me when I say it’s low-sugar, because it doesn’t taste like it!

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Raspberry Black Bean Dip

Looking for a fusion of spicy and sweet? Try this Raspberry Black Bean Dip! It's the perfect marriage of flavors between sweet and spicy! It's creamy and delicious-- perfect for Christmas, New Years, or the Super Bowl. It's quick to throw together, then bake! It's that easy!

Looking for an easy dip that will be a stunner? Want to make sure no one else will have the same dip as you do? This Raspberry Black Bean Dip is spicy and sweet, and it’s a perfect fit for any party, but it’s so simple that no one will believe the minimal effort!

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Crown Center Staycation Guide: Part 3

Looking for the best Kansas City staycation or vacation? You can't miss out on a Crown Center staycation! It's perfect for families of all ages (and only minutes away from P&L for adults, too!) Here's a roundup and review of the best things to do!

When it was time to think about getting away, I considered whether Zach and I should take a vacation or a staycation, then worked hard to plan our trip. When it was time to visit Crown Center we had a great time staying at the Sheraton Hotel and eating Minsky’s Pizza. We loved our visit to the SeaLife Aquarium, Legoland, and Fritz’s Railroad Restaurant. But when we checked out of the hotel, our Staycation wasn’t quite over– there was still more to do!

We decided to visit Union Station, literally less than a minute from the Sheraton in the car. Growing up, I remember when Science City opened, but Union Station, to me, meant some science activities and not much else… boy, has it changed! While Science City is still there, it’s grown and changed a lot, and there are other great experiences at Union Station that you can’t miss!

Planetarium at Union Station

If you’re going to visit Union Station, I’ll tell you that the planetarium is a must-visit. And no, your kids aren’t too young or too old to see it, because there are amazing shows for any age. We went to the Sesame Street show (expected to continue through the end of November, 11/21/14), where Big Bird, Elmo, and a new friend from China show us how parts of the sky are the same, no matter where you live in the world. The show, meant for a younger age, encouraged interaction and participation, asking kids to draw shapes in the stars and answer questions verbally.

For older planetarium fans, there’s a Dinosaurs at Dusk show that is engaging for young minds who are past the Sesame Street age, running until 1/2/15. Black Holes is great for older fans, with discussions about what Black Holes are and the mystery behind them. That show runs until 1/4/15.

Finally, the Planetarium offers a show called “Stargaze Kansas City” which is perfect for learning more about the stars right above our own heads, some of which we’re missing due to sunlight or bright city lights. What’s amazing is that this show, which will run through 1/4/15 in it’s current state, changes throughout the year to show the stars that are currently visible as the night sky changes when seasons change.

Tickets to the planetarium’s shows run around $6, with some shows being free for Union Station members.

A tornado tunnel at Science City inside Kansas City's Union Station allows kids to see a tornado form and even touch the wind inside of it.

After the planetarium show, we decided to visit Science City, which is a Union Station classic. With ever-changing exhibits, many things are new, but others stay the same. When you first enter Science City, you see a corridor of activities that are simple and engaging. Honestly, this first corridor was our favorite part of the entire experience, and we could have spent most of our Science City time in there. Depending on your child’s age, they may find it equally entertaining or not. Regardless, there’s something for everyone inside of Science City.

Science City inside Union Station KC near Crown Center

One thing Zach really enjoyed was a table near the entrance of Science City where you could set objects (like balls and round pieces of PVC pipe) on a spinning tray and see how they’d move in reaction to the sudden force.

Science City inside Union Station KC near Crown Center

 

To me, the best part of Science City is seeing the awe on a child’s face as they test something out and it either does what they had expected it would, or doesn’t do what they anticipated at all– either way, they learn something, and can continue testing it out as long as they’d like. Zach played with this for a good 15 minutes, just placing the ball on top, and watching it fly in the air, then trying different balls of different styles and sizes to see what would fly the best.

Melody Park at Union Station  encourages kids to listen for sounds and make their own music.

It’s after the initial corridor that you get to the real “meat” of Science City, with 3 levels of various interactive exhibits. I will say that it seems at least a little bit of Science City is always under construction– I don’t think I’ve ever been that part of it wasn’t blocked off because they’re adding a new exhibit in place of an old one, so be prepared for restricted access to some sections of the museum. However, part of that construction is really nice– it means that there is something new to see again and again (while some sections of the museum, like melody park, are long-standing features).

Inside Science City at Union Station KC near Crown Center

Science City is, in parts, designed to be like a real city, complete with “hotel,” playground, the melody park, and more. Other exhibits stray from this theme completely, but most of them tie into the idea that you’re essentially in an indoor city that you can explore and play in, while learning great new things.

Watching robots at Union Station KC's Science City near Crown Center.

Zach particularly loved watching this robot, which would place marbles on a track that would roll through a maze. A very helpful employee at Union Station took the time to tell us about the class of the day, which was a robot building class, but Zach was just a bit too young for us to participate. With master classes most days, young science-minded individuals can try a hands-on activity within the museum.

Inside Science City at Union Station KC near Crown Center

One section of Science City that is particularly aimed at older kids is the amazing space exhibit, which shows how astronauts live and sleep. The idea of being able to see this in life-size is really exciting, and do some simple training tasks is very cool, but lost on a younger child. However, almost every exhibit has something that is exciting regardless of age, and for the space section, this rocket launcher was pretty cool. You pump a lever as much as you can as the clock counts down, and when it hits 0, the rocket will fly up a certain height depending on how much power you gave it by pumping. Pretty exciting!

The kinder room at Science City inside Union Station KC near Crown Center

Entire rooms were set up dedicated to different ages and stages, which meant there were some great dedicated activities for a younger age group, including soft-build block projects and musical activities.

Magnifying Glass Discovery inside of Union Station KC's Science City near Crown Center

Many of the sections were set up with the idea of free play and free discovery, but others had a watchful eye from Science City employees and were a bit more… strictly guided. In some ways, this dampened the natural exploration that children have, but in others, there were opportunities to learn a bit more past where a child may have discovered on their own. Because of this, there were some areas we just moved on entirely– at Zach’s age, free, open-ended discovery is a great way to learn. He did, however, enjoy looking at the bugs through the magnifying glasses and identifying different parts of their bodies through that up-close look.

Train Watching inside of Science City at Union Station KC near Crown Center

One nice feature of Science City is that it’s great for railfans, especially on a rainy or cold day. We were able to sit at a checkers table inside of Science City and watch trains go by.

Energy exhibit inside Science City at Union Station KC near Crown Center.

Most of the exhibits are very self-paced and interactive. One of the best exhibits in the entire place, in my opinion, was the exhibit where you learn about energy and power. There were various body-power exhibits that allowed you to run on a hamster wheel or ride a bike to light a bulb, and others where you could crank a handle to create wind to power wind generators and light up miniature homes. It’s always a good idea to open communication about renewable resources, and to do so in a way that helps a kid run off energy in a big hamster wheel is the best way, in my opinion!

Science City Magnet Wall inside of Union Station KC at Crown Center

Zach’s favorite exhibit was the PVC magnet wall, where you took PVC pipes with magnets and arranged them in different shapes, then dropped the ball into the pipe to see how fast it would roll. Different configurations produced different speeds, allowing the ball to get to the bottom straight away, or sometimes, not at all… we also enjoyed setting up different configurations and putting the ball in to see who would get to the bottom fastest.

If you want to check out Science City inside of Union Station KC’s website, you can find out more information about ticket pricing, parking, and hours to plan your visit, as well as find out about the most up-to-date attractions.

The FREE Model Rail Experience inside of Union Station KC near Crown Center

One final great perk that Union Station KC has, which is awesome for any train lover, is the model rail experience, where you can view tons of different model trains whirring around cities. Various scales, scenery, and time periods are a backdrops for the important part– the trains!

Model Rail Experience inside Union Station KC near Crown Center is FREE to visit!

When I say they’re large, they’re definitely large. If your child loves to sit and watch trains like mine does, then it’s a great opportunity to watch them go through tunnels and over bridges and around houses.

Walk on a bridge overlooking the tracks at Union Station KC near Crown Center

 

As part of the rail experience, there is a bridge that you can take to walk directly over the tracks. It can get a little loud up there, but otherwise, it’s an amazing chance to stand above the trains and see them drive by. Again, the rail experience and this bridge are completely FREE parts of Union Station, so you can stop by and visit even if you choose not to visit the Planetarium or Science City. Combine the model rail experience and this train bridge with a trip to Fritz’s, and you’ve got the perfect “best day ever” for any future engineer.

 

Kansas City area readers, what’s your favorite place to visit? Let me know in the comments and I may make it a part of our next KC Staycation Review series!

Why Participation Prizes are Failing an Entire Generation

I almost didn’t share this piece here. It isn’t what my blog is typically about, and if this isn’t your kind of interest, feel free to come back when I’m sharing something about recipes or cute things my toddler does. With that said, I feel like it’s something important that I need to get out, and it’s too much for me to just share on facebook. It needs to be said. And I’m going to be the one to say it.

I’ve found myself really plagued lately by stories in the news. Obviously, a lot of really awful stuff has been happening lately. Just in the past couple of months, we’ve seen two twelve year old girls stab a friend 19 times to please a fictional character, multiple mass shooting events (including the tragic events in Seattle just yesterday), and even some school stabbings. It’s tragic, it’s hard to wrap our heads around, and it’s just downright sucky; you consider the last few years and how much tragedy we’ve seen, from Sandy Hook to Boston to Aurora and we realize that a lot is going on.

But there are two incidents in particular that have been really standing out to me. First, there’s the incident where a student stabbed a fellow student because she refused to go to prom with him, and there’s a second incident where a person went on a killing spree after releasing a video complaining about how women don’t like him.

Both of these stories share a very common thread. These are two people who simply don’t know how to get rejected. And I feel like there is one very simple reason that we’re seeing more and more issues like this… we’re not teaching kids how to deal with not being accepted, not winning, not feeling like they deserve a high five or applause for every single thing they do. We’re raising a generation who needs a medal every time they play a sport, even if they don’t play it well. We have entire generations of kids who have gone through life being told that it’s okay to not be good enough at something because you’re going to be handed a prize anyway.

We’ve gotten to a point in society where if we disagree with someone, it automatically means we aren’t being open and accepting. Essentially, if I have an opinion that goes against your opinion, I am an arrogant close-minded fool, even if I state my piece amicably and then listen to your point of view. We’ve put so much emphasis on accepting everyone, on awarding everyone, on having that morale boost for everyone that we’re literally teaching our kids that they should get their way, that rejection shouldn’t happen.

I’ve been through the online dating circuit a time or two. It’s no secret. But I have literally had guys get angry with me (not to the point of killing me or anyone else, luckily) because I said “You seem like a nice guy, and I hope you find what you’re looking for, but I just don’t think we’re compatible.” I get it, rejection hurts. I’ve been through it, and it sucks. But seriously? Not learning how to take rejection without lashing out in anger is a really bad thing.

By giving everyone that pat on the back of “You’re a winner!” even when you’re getting 13th place in a tournament with 13 teams, we’re not teaching our kids that losing sucks, it hurts, and you can brush yourself off and vow to try harder the next time.

And when we fail to teach that to our kids when they’re young and it’s about something as insignificant as 4-year-old soccer (which is essentially Chicken Herding 101), then we’re going to have a generation of people who can’t take a rejection. It’s okay to take your losing 4 year old soccer team out for ice cream and say “Hey! You guys had fun out there, right?” But when you’re constantly valuing the “everyone’s a winner” mindset throughout life, you’re making it so when someone gets turned down for anything, it’s a horror story.

An acquaintance of mine shared the other day that he needed to quit his job as a waiter because “I can’t believe they make me constantly stand all day long. I don’t want to work a job where I’m on my feet all day long. They’re mistreating me and I feel like I should sue.” This, of course, came only weeks after he quit his job at a call center for having to sit all day long instead of getting to walk around.

Our sue-happy culture isn’t helping. Because of how we make everyone feel entitled to a prize, a pat on the back, a medal, we lead people to become entitled in all aspects. It’s why when I put a hot coffee between my legs and then that hot coffee spills on me, it’s your fault for not telling me that my hot coffee was hot. It’s why when I’m walking down a beach in a lightning storm and lightning hits me, I can blame an entire state for not telling me not to walk on the beach during a lightning storm. It’s why I feel justified in killing a person because they said no to my prom invitation. Because I have gone my entire life being told that I am a winner, that I deserve a prize, that I can’t learn to lose, to fail, to be told no, because it might damage me.

Instead, what we’ve done is told everyone “yes” so often that we’ve raised kids more damaged than the ones who were told no.

I’m not trying to trivialize what happened in either of those tragic incidents, and I’m not trying to say that tragedies like this didn’t occur before the age of participation prizes.

But I am trying to say that I do think there is a correlation between telling kids yes, yes, yes, all their lives, just to avoid hurting their fragile ego… and winding up with kids who just can’t take it when someone says “No. Thanks, but no.”

It scares me that we aren’t looking at these situations and thinking “Man, we really need to teach our kids how to handle rejection!” Instead, we’re watching these tragedies unfold, and blaming them on a million other things.

I don’t want my son to grow up thinking that he’s always a winner. I know that he is going to be great at a lot of things, but I also know he’s going to be bad at other things. I want to teach him to focus on those things he is good at, work hard to succeed there, and not let the stuff he is bad at get him down. I want him to learn that sometimes we fail, and that it’s okay.

I was a straight A student in school. Then I took Chemistry 2 in high school and almost failed. Had it not been for an amazing teacher who said “I know science isn’t your strong suit, but we’re going to get you through this class so you can focus on the things you ARE good at in college,” I would have failed the course. She didn’t say “Oh, you know what, I’m going to pass you just because I know how hard it is to fail at things and I don’t want you to go through that.” No, she said “Come by my classroom for extra study hours, arrive at school 45 minutes early so we can go over your homework and I can see what you’re getting wrong and help you learn, and do these extra assignments on the really hard equations you’re just not grasping not only so you get them drilled into your head before the test, but because the extra credit will help your grade.” I had to work hard for the B- I pulled in that class in the end. I couldn’t just get mad at my failings and go hurt people. I had to face it head-on and deal with the fact that I wasn’t good at science, that I never would be, but that in failing there, it really helped me narrow down the path I wanted to take in school, and was a good indicator that psychology fields that dealt with hard science weren’t for me. It saved me many hours in the psychology brain lab at my college (a lab that contained a freezer of brains and a deli slicer) because it made it clear to me that my talents were better suited towards creative arts like writing rather than hard sciences. Rejection from that teacher helped me grow as a person.

We’re failing our kids by not letting them learn from their failures. We’re creating a generation of monsters who can’t handle that things don’t always go their way. We’re creating a narcissistic generation epitomized by the quote in the song #SELFIE by the Chainsmokers: “I only got 10 likes in the last 5 minutes. Do you think I should take it down?” (referring to an Instagrammed Selfie). We have a generation so obsessed with everyone “liking” everything they do on every social media platform and in real life that people just can’t handle that sometimes it’s okay not to be liked, not to be #winning, and it’s okay for someone to say NO.

 

I’ll wrap up with this: Guys, if you ask a girl out, or to the prom, or on a date, or whatever, and she says no? Accept it. Move on. That’s one girl who doesn’t like you in a world of girls who will like you IF you focus on your personality and don’t think you can use looks or money to buy romance. Actually, for the right price in today’s society, you probably could buy romance, so scratch that. You’ll find someone, but not finding someone right now isn’t an excuse to hurt anyone. Girls, same thing. If you ask a guy out, or ask him to do something with you, or get dumped or rejected, or anything else… move on. Parents, teach your kids that it’s okay to be bad at some things, and recognize instead the things they’re good at. Not every kid will be valedictorian, get into Julliard, or be America’s Next Top Model. That’s okay, because these kids CAN grow up to do really great things if they’re raised to know that it’s better to focus on what they can do and take rejection as an opportunity for growth.

Work on yourself, guys and girls. Focus on being the best person you can possibly be, and eventually, the right person for you will come along. See rejection as a chance to improve, an opportunity to make changes in your life for the better. But whatever you do, do NOT look at rejection as an opportunity to hurt someone else. It’s not worth it.

My Heart for Homeschooling: Part 2

I’ve previously talked about my heart for homeschooling in part 1 of this post. I feel like there are so many reasons that it is important for me to homeschool my son, and why a lot of other people homeschool, and it’s why I’ve felt compelled to share my reasoning here. After all, if I have a voice, I may as well work to be heard, especially when there are a lot of misconceptions out there about homeschooling.

Homeschool students have a great opportunity for building social skills. One huge misconception is that homeschooled kids don’t have social skills. Sure, there are plenty of examples out there of homeschooled students who have zero skills. But there are far greater numbers of students who have amazing social skills built in homeschooling. My brother, for example, is in competition soccer and takes improv theatre lessons. He’s built a friend group and has social skills, allowing him to be very social and have those great communication skills that are essential. There are many options for homeschooled students to get involved, whether it’s a local group of homeschoolers or an extracurricular activity to join in. Homeschooling isn’t like it used to be; with a growing number of people homeschooling their children, there is a greater number of homeschooled students to connect with, allowing huge networks of students to build, grow, and enjoy each other’s time.

Homeschool students have a lot of extracurricular options. As I mentioned above, my brother, a homeschool student, is able to take improv theatre, play competition soccer, play Minecraft on a server that is specifically for local homeschooled students, and more. Students can take art classes, music classes (both solo and in group settings, similar to a band class), drama, participate in community theatre, play sports both competitively and non-competitively, and more. There are so many options for homeschooled students to learn skills and participate with each other.

Some studies have shown that homeschooled students have better self-esteem. Not only are many homeschoolers removed from the trauma and pressure of bullying (after all, closer-knit class groups for extracurriculars and their school day being spent largely around family versus around peers allows for more close monitoring to stop bullying in it’s tracks, as well as less opportunities to allow it to begin in the first place), but they’re also spending their days in an environment that tends to foster a feeling of safety. When kids feel safe at home, and safe with their parents, they’re able to build that self-esteem in a safe environment. Not to say there aren’t horror stories out there– there are in every situation–but the majority of students who are homeschooled are able to build higher self-esteem. Not only is bullying cut, and a safe environment available, but homeschoolers also tend to learn at their own pace (and challenge themselves). By having a better grasp on their skills and by being able to get personal attention when they’re struggling, rather than being put in a remedial class or being held behind, they’re able to acquire skills without feeling like they’re a failure or having the emotional strain of not being “good enough.” Unfortunately, students who aren’t grasping material well are pushed farther behind their peers, and students who are grasping material too quickly are often slowed down, resulting in a cycle of falling farther and farther behind, culminating in peers, and sometimes even teachers, shaming them. In homeschooling, this isn’t the case. All-around, it’s easy to see why students who are homeschooled tend to have better self-esteem in a loving environment.

Homeschooling is widely accepted. Over 4% of children in America are homeschooled, and it’s growing in numbers every year. That doesn’t sound like a lot, but if you took all of the students in the 10 smaller states in America, you’d get the SAME number of students as are homeschooled currently. It’s a pretty big number, actually. Some universities have specific policies in place for accepting homeschooled students, even if those students didn’t earn an accredited high school degree (since homeschools are essentially unaccredited schools in many states). I went to college with many homeschooled students, and all of them were at or above my level as a student entering from public school.

Students have less access to drugs and alcohol in homeschool, and are less likely to over-indulge later. Studies have shown that students who consume alcohol before the age of 21 and are around it in a peer setting (a party, in a limo on the way to prom, at a friend’s home, even their own home) are more likely to abuse the substance later. Because families that homeschool tend to spend more time together, there’s less opportunity for a student to indulge, say, after school at a friend’s house. Homeschool families don’t really have latch-key kids, so the kids spend fewer hours home alone, with fewer opportunities to get into the wine cabinet. Don’t think private school kids are immune to this trouble, either… it actually turns out that statistically, because families who send their kids to private school tend to have access to more funds, kids are actually MORE likely to use and/or abuse substances than they would in public school… and, other studies have shown that if they are caught, they’re less likely to face serious consequences. By homeschooling, you can remove your child from an equation like that entirely, or at least severely reduce their chance of dealing with it. You can do so even more if you’re a home like mine, where alcohol isn’t even around.

There’s less violence in a homeschool situation. There’s been a lot of talk about bullying, cyberbullying, school shootings, fights, and suicide. While again, there are horror stories out there, homeschool environments are largely safer. There is a lot less risk of cyberbullying when kids are homeschooled, and parents who are involved with their children’s studies (whether they’re homeschooled or public schooled) are more likely to pick up on bullying and help stop violence in it’s tracks. Homeschooling, by nature, requires the involvement of parents, and it’s proven that kids who are homeschooled are less likely to be involved in (as a victim or a perpetrator) violence, whether emotional or physical.

 

I’ve got a lot more reasons for wanting to homeschool, and again, this is just a glimpse. Check out part one, and keep an eye out for part 3, coming soon.

My Heart for Homeschooling: Part 1

I’ve shared on here about homeschooling a few times, and talked about why it’s been important to me. But I will say, it’s one of those topics that I get a lot of questions about. People ask me “Isn’t it time consuming?” Yeah, it is. “Don’t you ever want a break from your kid?” I know I might be weird, but no, I really don’t. There are those times where I’m really craving a hot shower without hearing “Mommy!!!” but for the most part, I love being with my kiddo all the time. “Aren’t you afraid he won’t be a social kid?” Yeah, to some degree. But there are ways around that.

So now, I’ve decided to put all of it on the table and spell out why homeschooling is important to me. If you’re considering homeschooling, this may help make things clearer for you. If you’re not considering it, but you’re curious about it, this will answer some questions, I’m sure. If you’re not into homeschooling, then this might be eye-opening and show you a little bit of my reasoning for doing it.

But first, what is homeschooling? Basically, it is teaching children in your own home. Long before there were schools in buildings kids would go to, there were home schools, where parents taught their children essential skills like money management, clothing repair, cooking, and trades, as well as tasks like how to read (typically to read the Bible or other religious texts).

Schools have a habit of dumbing things down for kids.

Yes, this may be my opinion, but I have to share that kids who are homeschooled tend to be grade levels ahead of children who are public or private schooled, and have higher logic and reasoning skills. Additionally, schools tend to teach towards the test. Do some homeschools teach towards the tests? Absolutely. But I think you’ll find, through digging, that homeschool largely teaches towards practicality. I was public schooled, and so was my brother (much more recently). I cannot tell you the number of hours spent solely preparing to get good scores on standardized tests, to the point that kids learn materials that are beyond their comprehension level, recite them on the test (basic parroting) and then forget them just as quickly as they learned them, only to repeat the cycle again and again. How many times did I start the school year in American History at the beginning of time, only to wind up in the industrial revolution every time? With homeschooling, since it is more individualized, it’s very easy to study and then pick up where you left off, meaning you move from ancient history to modern day and study history in a chronological order, rather than studying parts of history being tested on and moving on.

Schools tend to pigeonhole kids and go with the idea that all kids go through post-secondary education.

Not every student is going to go on to college, be a doctor, or use advanced calculus. Some students are learning those skills that they aren’t likely to use, to the point that they’re not taught skills they need. How many times have you been in line at the checkout somewhere and handed someone cash for your purchase, only to discover that, without a machine telling them, they can’t count change back to you, or even know how much change you’re owed? I’m not saying it’s that way in every case, but you can’t deny it’s probably happened to you. Further, how many of those teens do you think have taken algebra, geometry, trig, but have no idea how to budget or count money? I’d reckon that most of them fall into that category. They’re being prepared for an education they may or may not move on to, but not being taught how to manage their lives.

My boyfriend and I were chatting not too long ago about budget, and about how it was important to him to find out all of the costs, including utilities, and the costs of what furniture he needed, before settling on what apartment to live in. He wanted to make sure that, between rent, bills, and other life expenses (like groceries) that he was choosing an apartment that was affordable, considering his income. He wanted to be sure that he wasn’t choosing an unreasonable apartment, or that he wasn’t skimping where he could afford something more comfortable, so he compared prices.

At the store, it’s something I do regularly… sometimes, with coupons, a name brand is cheaper than an off-brand. Sometimes a big package looks like a great deal, until you end up pricing it out per unit, and find out it’s actually not a better deal at all!

Unfortunately, because school goes with a college-focus, some kids get lost in the cracks. By pushing kids into advanced math and science, some kids are falling behind, despite the fact that they’ll not be using that math in the future. Am I calling for schools to do away with advanced math and science? Absolutely not. It is GREAT… for the kids who will use that in future professions. For others, it’s taking focus away from other things they could be studying that will benefit their future.

There is a local high school here, and yes, a public school (I’ve never said public school is bad, just simply stated that homeschooling is right for my family), that allows students to select a “track.” For example, if you pick the track that you’d like to learn to work in a restaurant, you’ll take classes that relate directly to that and learn everything from front-end (waiting tables, etc) to budgeting and inventory, all the way to the back of the restaurant. Students go on to work in careers in food service, and often become management at these places based on their time at this high school, teaching them hands-on skills that they need for a trade that interests them. Unfortunately, that school is the exception, not the norm.

Because of one-on-one (or one-on-handful, depending on your family size), as opposed to one-on-twenty learning, kids can pick up skills faster. By no fault of their own, teachers are at a disadvantage. Teachers have to teach large amounts of children- sometimes in excess of 20 in a classroom, and when they do, it means that they’re having their attention drawn a minimum of 20 different ways. Teachers not only have to deal with an abundance of learners at different levels, but also with outside forces. When my brother was in school, in a very safe, small-town neighborhood, one student in his classroom was arrested, multiple times, IN class, as early as first grade. When that happens, the entire class stops. And even after the student is removed, the chatter continues. Do you really think significant learning is happening during this time? During homeschooling, you’re streamlining the number of students.  You have only your children, which allows for less distractions. Unless your family is up to something I can’t fathom, I highly doubt any of your students would be arrested during class in their homeschool setting. I think it’s important to also consider that by having a smaller class size, it’s easier to tailor studies to your students. Have a student who is racing ahead in reading? Great! Encourage that with more challenging books and further opportunities to read. Perhaps they’re a bit behind in math? No problem. You have the time and ability to work with them as needed to help boost their math knowledge, or you can go over the problem set as long as they have questions.

In most public school settings, a teacher has a limited amount of time to get a lot of information in. That means they can answer a handful of questions about a task, and then they must move on to the next task. It doesn’t allow children to ask questions until they understand, but rather, allows them to ask just until time is up before being forced to move on.

With a homeschooling setting, you’re able to take the pace that you need to. Even if you have multiple children, you likely have fewer students to divide between than most teachers, and are able to tailor some time to making sure your child firmly grasps an entire concept before moving on.

Food allergies are a big concern for many families. While it isn’t a primary reason that we’ve chosen to homeschool, I know many families who homeschool, at least in part, due to special food needs by their family members. Enter a public school cafeteria and look at some of the choices available. If you have an intolerance to gluten, a peanut allergy, and a handful of other allergies, you’re going to have a very bad time. One perk of homeschooling (but certainly not a primary reason for my family personally) is that anything I’m interested in feeding my son, I can. It means that I can create a well-balanced menu catered to his particular tastes and dietary needs. I can imagine that families who have very specific needs when it comes to diet find this even more appealing.

Homeschoolers have a tendency to finish school early. Once finished with high school, students often have the option of going to many schools around the nation, or even getting an online college degree. In some cases, homeschool students can earn a two- or four-year degree before their public or private schooled counterparts, allowing them a chance to get ahead in a job market and earn experience in the “real world” while their peers are still in college. While obviously this won’t happen in all cases, I’ve seen many examples of this happening personally, including friends I interacted with in college. Mind you, in public school, I was able to graduate a full year early, which meant that I was one of the youngest people in my university. However, I clearly wasn’t the youngest; everyone younger than me was homeschooled. It just opens a lot of doors that might not otherwise get opened.

You’re able to set your own goals for homeschooling. Homeschooling can be tailored to your child’s interests. My brother is a very hands-on learner, so rather than reading about electricity, he’s able to experience it firsthand by assembling his own circuits. To learn fractions, he can use cooking or other hands-on examples. His goals, along with my mother’s goals for him, allow him to achieve great results. I can set specific goals for my son, like mastery of alphabet and numbers, and then when we achieve those goals, we can plan new goals and build upon what we’ve learned. Because we’re able to do individualized education and paying attention to personalized needs moreso than in a public school setting, you’re able to meet goals more quickly.

 

I hope this shows you a little bit of my heart for homeschooling. I have a lot more reasons to discuss, so this will be the first in a multi-part series. Please stay tuned for the next part, and definitely feel free to share it with your friends who may be considering homeschooling!

The Elf On the Shelf Isn’t Landing Here

I know I’m going to get a lot of heat for this. In fact, I know I will because when I brought up the same topic on facebook last year around this time, I definitely had a few people who hated what I had to say.

But I’m going to say it.

I can’t stand Elf on the Shelf.

Now, I have a lot of reasons that I won’t play into the “magic” and “joyfulness” that that creepy little Elf supposedly brings, and yes, I’m sure that my reasons aren’t that different from a lot of other people who choose not to participate.

But seriously. Look at it. That thing is creep-a-licious. It’s just freaky looking. If I were a kid, I’d be terrified. And I’m not terrified of inanimate objects. If my dad and brother can’t even walk into the basement without freaking out over how creepy a porcelain doll I keep in storage is, then I definitely shouldn’t trust an Elf on the loose around the house. He’d probably get hurt, what with his creepy little grin. He gives me the heebiejeebies!

And then there’s the fact that basically the whole point of Mr. Elf on Pinterest seems to be for him to barge into your house, leave a mess (which you have to be creative enough to create so you’re doing the same sorts of things as every other Elf that your child’s preschool friends are doing, but also NEW and DIFFERENT things so you can brag to the carpool moms), and then just… walk away from the mess while you clean it up. I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to go around wiping up spilled maple syrup, a “flour war,” or an explosion of Legos. Half the time, I’m lucky to get the dishes done. Why add more work to my day?

I know there are some of you out there who will tell me that having an Elf doesn’t have to be messy. You can do “clean” activities like leaving the Elf with some crayons and a coloring book. Sure, I can. Or I could also set out crayons and a coloring book for my son, no Elf needed.

Really, do you WANT your Elf being the “role model” and person reporting back to Santa when they’re tying up Barbies on the railroad tracks (nope, not just for “Naughty Elf” posts, but for some real life the-kid-is-seeing-this moments), making a mess of the kitchen for a marshmallow fight since they’re out of snowballs, or whatever else? That doesn’t show me that being good is ranked that highly. It says to me that it’s fair game to throw stuff everywhere and then get a job in the reporting to Santa game. Total parent nightmare right there– a revolution based on an Elf!

I don’t like how the Elf is just adding to the commercialization of Christmas. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas. I love the decorations and the lights and the gifts, and all that. But seriously, now I have to buy the Elf. And his book. And his movie. And now the trend is an Elf Girlfriend because one Elf is just getting a little stale, and how else are you going to spice it up? And then the Elfs bring gifts like Lego Advent calendars and Christmas Crunch cereal (because Halloween-Specific seasonal cereal was ROCKIN’ in sales this year). How many things do I have to buy for the Elf to do this season? And don’t get me wrong, I spend money on activities and stuff, including red-and-green cake mixes and snickerdoodle milk, throughout the holiday season… but… why have the Elf be the mastermind while I’m going around cleaning up his junk? It seems like so much added work to me than knocking out the middleman.

I feel like the Elf is just another way for suburban moms to compete. Having the best minivan and tracksuit combo wasn’t enough anymore, so we needed to add an Elf (don’t forget the Elf Girlfriend!) While I’m sure that it has a LOT of treasured memories behind it, and I’m sure it is a very important part of people’s holiday traditions, it just isn’t a part of ours.

I feel like I shouldn’t have to tell Zach “You should be good because this tattletale Elf is going to go tell Santa everything you did!” First, I’d like my son not to learn to be a tattletale, and giving him an Elf who reports back to Santa, to me, seems like an endorsement. I also would love for him to learn to be good just for the sake of being good– not because he’s afraid of a warning letter from an Elf. I want him to be good because he genuinely wants to, and for us to sit down and have a dialogue about his behavior… not for some third-party Elf to pass along my sentiments. I feel like, by bringing these elaborate gifts and telling kids when they’ve been naughty, the Elf is driving a wedge between parent-child interactions during the season.

Sure, from my end, it would be cool to see the “magic” in the Elf moving, and doing something new, but from Zach’s end, the Elf is doing all this cool stuff, and mom isn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. I want the season to be about the two of us as a family, and about what we can do together.

 

I hope that none of my readers are offended by this piece enough to stop reading. I meant it to be a humorous take on why the Elf just isn’t a part of my life this season, or a part of Zach’s, and I’m sorry if anything was offensive. If the Elf is a part of your holiday tradition, good on you. That’s something I’m sure you both will treasure. It just isn’t right for MY house. And, if you’re wanting to start doing Elf on the shelf, I hope my blog doesn’t scare you off from it. Like I said, the Elf isn’t landing here, but if he lands at your house, no judgement. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to eat some of the Count Chocula I stocked up on before that whole Christmas Crunch stuff was released.