Relationships and Dating

5 Ways to Break Phone Addiction and Be a More Responsive Parent

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Do you have a New Year's Resolution to stop staring at your phone so much? Or maybe you just want to break the cycle of cell phone addiction and see the world around you. This post has tips on 5 ways to help break phone addiction and help you interact with your kids more. | parenting | self care | self help | phone addiction | internet addiction |

I was checking my emails. The phone had just buzzed, and I switched from Instagram over to my Gmail to check an email from a work contact. It seemed innocent enough. And then I heard my son say “Mom. Look. Please look.” What started as a momentary distraction to post a cute photo of him turned into a much longer journey through posting the photo, crafting a perfect caption, adding hashtags, liking friends’ recent photos, and then switching over to read emails. It wasn’t intentional– I wasn’t trying to give up attention to focus on my phone. But I had unintentionally stopped watching my son’s craft project because I had stopped to post “just one photo” and gotten lost in my phone again.

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Easy Ways to Show Appreciation for Those You Love

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Your family is your lifeline, but if you're like many of us, you don't tell them (or show them) often enough. Here are some really easy ways to show appreciation for those you love.

Family is priceless. At the end of the day, they’re the people you sit down with at the table and share your day with. But so often, we can take our family for granted. We have a lot of time to spend with one another, to the point that sometimes, we just forget to show our family how much we love and appreciate them. But really, there are some very easy ways to show appreciation to those you love.

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Preserving Flowers Easily and Affordably

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It’s prom season. Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday was Christmas, then Valentine’s Day, but now, it’s the season of puffy, glittery dresses, limousines, and flowers. I remember my own prom like it was just days ago, and then suddenly realized that it’s been nearly a decade. I find it so hard to believe that I’m closer to my ten year reunion than I am to my high school prom… what’s even more amazing is that I still have the corsage from my senior prom tucked away in a box.

How did the corsage survive almost a decade? With careful preservation. But you don’t need a lot of expensive materials or a difficult process… it’s actually quite simple to preserve flowers from a special occasion like prom in the comfort of your own home.

You only need 3 things: your flowers you’d like to preserve, a shoebox (great opportunity to recycle the box from those pretty prom heels!), and Borax, which you can find at retailers like Walmart in the laundry section. Borax has many great uses around the house, and it’s often in the homemade laundry soap recipes floating around the internet. Borax can be used to unclog drains, deodorize garbage pails, and more. The great thing is that it’s about $0.08-$0.12 per oz, which is incredibly affordable.

Grab your shoebox, pour a nice layer of Borax in the bottom, and gently nest your flower, corsage, or other floral piece onto the Borax. Carefully pour Borax over the flower, covering it. Make sure you’re gentle to not distort the flower.

Close the box (and optionally, tape it to ensure it won’t spill), and mark the date. Let it sit undisturbed for two weeks.

Now, it’s time to unseal the box and see if it worked!

On the left is an unpreserved pink carnation, and on the right, the preserved pink carnation. As you can see, the vibrant color was preserved, the shape and size was preserved, and each fold of the flower was carefully preserved. It looks pretty true to the unpreserved carnation, which you can tell is starting to experience a little bit of wilt.

 

Now, you never have to worry about a treasured memory going to waste, because preserving a flower at home is easy and affordable.

What memories do you have of your prom? Did you save your corsage? Talk about it in the comments below!

Birth Control

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The other day, a facebook friend of mine posted that she’s having her third child in about as many years. I’d say this is an anomaly amongst my facebook friends, but it’s not.

I’m starting to wonder if there’s a reason they’re diving right back into having kids. Because I sit here looking at my two year old, and, despite loving him more than anything else in the entire world, when I see people having a second child so soon after their first, I have to believe that they’re out of their entire stinkin’ mind.

Let me give you a little background about why I feel that way.

About a week ago, my son comes to me and brings me a slinky. “Cool slinky, Zach!” He replies “Mom!” and pats his thingie. “Um, Zach, the slinky doesn’t go there.” He repeats his request again and again. I calmly remind him, “No, we do not put slinkies on our thingy.” He says “Okay!” and I hand him the slinky, thinking he understands. The next thing I know, he’s torn his diaper off, stuck his thingie through the opening of the slinky, and started peeing ALL over the floor.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I’m torn between crying and dying laughing. I grab the slinky and toss it in the sink to be sanitized thoroughly. I go to grab a towel, and then I hear it. “Splash. Splash.” Oh no. Oh no no no no. I run back in and Zach is JUMPING in the pee puddle. Like it’s a rain puddle or something!” I remove him from the situation, wash his feet, and re-diaper him, then I run over and begin cleaning up the puddle as quickly as I can to prevent another Singin In the Rain style incident from him. As I just finish cleaning up the puddle, I see a streak out of the corner of my eye… I turn to look, and there is a bare butt running across the room.

You’ve GOT to be kidding me.

I would say that incidents like this were few and far between, but that would be a lie. The other day, we visited my boyfriend’s apartment for New Years Eve, and Zach was using some chopsticks as drumsticks, like he routinely does, because everything stick-like is a drumstick, obviously. As we went to clean up for the night, one of the chopsticks was missing. Oh well… it must have slipped under a couch or between cushions.

Then, overnight, suddenly things got cold. Like really cold. Because freezing temps outside suddenly crept in when the heater stopped working. Why did it stop working, you ask? Because a chopstick was jamming the fan.

Yup. That’s my boy.

I’m not telling you these stories because I think having kids is crazy. On the contrary, actually. Zach has provided me with so many amazing experiences, so many hilarious stories, and so many cuddles, smiles, and countless laughs. He’s exactly the reason I WILL have more kids someday.

…he’s also the reason that having more kids anytime before he’s at least four and out of this phase is NOT something I want to happen.

I never understood my mom when she’d say “Kids make the best birth control.” I also didn’t understand why she waited 12 years to have my brother after me, and still don’t, because I was a perfect angel of a child.

But I get it now, the kids are the best birth control. Because after an exhausting day of slinky pee, jammed air conditioners, and entire boxes of Goldfish poured out on the floor, I wouldn’t trade my life for anything, but I also couldn’t imagine adding a second child to the list. All I want is to go to bed, pull the covers over my head, and pray for more than 3 hours of sleep so I can wake up and do it all over again the next day.

My son is the best possible blessing that God has ever granted me. He is sweet, adorable, and has the cutest face, especially when it is covered in eggs and bits of chocolate. He has so much compassion, love, and empathy. The other day, I was worn out from a workout and sat on the bed panting and sore. Zach came over to me and said “Mom! Are you okay?” He patted my back, rubbed my arm, and gave me a hug.

I love having a child. I love his energy, spirit, and the way he responds to everyone in love.

 

And, because of him, I’d like to wait awhile for another, thankyouverymuch. To my Facebook friends who are having another… and another… back-to-back, either your little ones are still in their “cute, silent, baby phase” when you decide to have more, or you are a stronger woman than I am. Because I have no idea how you’re managing without losing your mind.

Mom’s right. Kids DO make the best birth control.

What I’ve Learned from Being Single

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I've learned a lot on my journey of singlehood... From the girl who used to HAVE to have a boyfriend, now I've been single for quite some time, and there's a reason (and a lot of things I've learned from it!)

I have been single for almost a year now. It’s amazing to think that it’s been that long, because I used to be the girl who couldn’t go very long without being with someone, even if that someone was the wrong person for me. I’ve been in many bad relationships… relationships that pulled me away from family, relationships that tugged me away from faith, and relationships that tested my very strength. I’ve been hit, I’ve been verbally kicked in the gut, and I’ve been hurt. But I’ve also been mean, I’ve screamed, and I’ve said things I shouldn’t say.

Being single for almost a year has, in many ways, been trying. I can’t remember a time since I was about 13 that I didn’t have a boyfriend… or, rather, I can remember short periods, but nothing longer than a few months. A year-long dry spell? That’s a big deal.

I’ve learned a lot from being single, though. I’ve learned a lot about myself, a lot about other people, and a lot about what I’m looking for when that amazing man finally does come along. Here’s a little about what I’ve learned.

  1. My values are important, and they’re valid. I shouldn’t toss my thoughts, my values, and my dreams aside because someone discounts them. My dreams and values are just as valid as my partner’s. If he can’t accept that, or if he holds values that directly compromise or contradict mine, he isn’t the right guy for me.
  2. My family is more important than any relationship. My son, my parents, my brother… they’re the ones who have been there in the wake of breakups and makeups. They’re the ones who have stayed consistent, even when I’ve pushed them away for a relationship. That’s important.
  3. I don’t have to have a man to feel important. This is a big one for me. In the past, I’ve always felt like I needed someone, a partner, to feel valid. I don’t need that. My God is my first big relationship that validates who I am, outside of any romantic connections. My family validates me, my career as a blogger validates me. My faith in God, and my own successes, dreams, and thoughts, are what validate me as a person… not a guy.
  4. When I do eventually find the right guy for me, it will enhance my other relationships, rather than detracting from them. The right guy isn’t going to trash my family or my faith. He’s going to say “you know what? Those things are very important.” and he’s going to be okay with a) spending time with them, and b) understanding when I want to spend time with them occasionally instead of with him. I can’t count the number of holidays that I have spent running over to boyfriends’ houses or something, instead of spending it with my family. My very last Thanksgiving with my aunt before she passed, was a Thanksgiving dinner I left early to see a movie with my boyfriend. Wow. Just… wow. That’s not to say that spending time with him won’t be frequent, or awesome, but I believe the right man will understand that my family is a huge part of my life… and it isn’t all about him.

That’s not to say my journey as a single woman hasn’t been hard. There are definitely many times when I wish I had someone to turn to. I definitely have my concerns that I won’t find the right father figure for Zach when it comes time for those important things where he needs a dad. He has an amazing uncle, and an amazing grandfather, but a father figure is invaluable. I also wonder, “will I always be living with my parents, single?” And then I realize all of the awesome things involved in living with my family, and the great times that we have.

Being single is hard. I spend a lot of time in prayer, both hoping that a man will eventually join me on my journey through life… but I also spend a lot of time thanking God for the people who are in my life… my very cool best friend who I don’t see enough, but always seems to balance me. My mom, who is my rock. She’s the one I go to every time I need to bounce an idea off of her, the first person who suggested I consider blogging as a full-time gig, and the one who has supported me from day one. My awesome dad, who CHOSE to be my dad (he legally adopted me when I was nine). My brother, who has been a great influence and role model for Zach so far… all of these people are important.

The most important thing that I’ve learned from being single is this.

Relationships and significant others are more than just boyfriends/fiances/husbands. Relationships… significant others… those are the SIGNIFICANT people in your life. I don’t have one significant other. I have a lot of significant others. God. My son. My mom. My dad. My brother. My family around the world. My best friend. These are the significant people in my life, and they have nothing to do with a boyfriend-girlfriend-husband-wife situation.

It’s okay to be single. My time being single has brought me closer to family and to God… that, to me, is more important than any relationship with a guy.